Turtlenecks for One and for … All?

01Feb08

I came across an article last week and I have been thinking about it ever since. It has taken me a while to write about it, in part because doing so requires a few embarrassing admissions on my part. That being said, I think the best way to get the ball rolling is to rip off the proverbial Band-Aid: 1) I still have an AOL mail account; 2) I still use it. A lot.; 3) I sometimes (OK, often) click on the AOL Today stories that intercept my attention as I make my way to my inbox; 4) (this is the worst, yet the most critical admission) Not long enough ago, I clicked on an AOL Today story entitled, “How Not to Look Fat in a Turtleneck.” Now you understand my hesitation.

Back to the story. It hasn’t been on my mind because it was particularly thought-provoking. Actually, scratch that. It provoked the thought, “How did this article make it to publication?” And then, “Did this girl get paid to write this?” And finally, “I see nepotism is alive and well at AOL Today.”

So, without further ado, I present “How Not to Look Fat in a Turtleneck,” by Emily Neill. Despite the lackluster writing (because now that I am blogging, I am the foremost authority on the subject), this article is worth the read for its comedic value alone. Let me just give it to you straight: the article makes absolutely no sense. The models that approach what mainstreamers might call “fat,” — I believe the PC term is “full figured” — Neill puts in a v-neck or a wrap top for the “After” shot. So if you’re anything like me, your reaction will go something like this: “Ah, I see. Yeah that does look — wait … THAT’S NOT A TURTLENECK! But, wasn’t the title of the article … ? Wow, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read.”

So thank you, Emily Neill, for positing the thought that slender people should only wear form-fitting turtlenecks and full-figured people should resort to Plan B. That was extremely entertaining, if not completely useless and highly offensive.

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One Response to “Turtlenecks for One and for … All?”

  1. 1 Alex

    i, too, still have an aol account. i, too, still use it a lot. and i click on the AOL Today stories way more frequently than i would like to admit. but, honestly, how can anyone resist such teases as “After a workout, Beer is Best” and “Mexican Dish Packs 31g of Fat”? I didn’t have a chance.


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