Transient Bliss

06Feb08

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The phone rings. Or vibes, as it were. It’s never him. I have to believe that more often than not, people are put in our lives for just a moment. That moment, however long it may last, is only ever long enough to give us the clarity we need to go on; to learn whatever it is that we need to learn in order to reach something better. So I should expect that these people will only be in my life for just so long. When the moment passes and all that living and learning is done, my lover will take his cue – there is no room for free will in this experiment; nothing that I can do, nothing that he can do. I can accept this. But even with this acceptance, it’s difficult to manage all the residual emotion left in his wake. There’s no feeling of rejection; only the aching of a chest full of love with nowhere to go, inflated by memories of long, perfect nights, the tenderness for this person, the hopes that maybe this could last forever – this person, this feeling, this “us.” The unfortunate truth, however, is that things are always as they are meant to be. I am left only to let go; to understand that sometimes, people are given to us for a purpose; to accept that it is time to continue on to my next messenger. I get it. At the risk of sounding all crazy and spiritual (if I haven’t already), I can see why people come into my life. Literally, I can see it. Even so, I am without the ability to see the whole plan. I can’t look ahead to scenes that will console me and help me fully understand the need for these beautiful, yet fleeting encounters. Worse, I can’t see enough to know whether life is anything more than just a series of them, each one bringing us closer to some kind of preordained harmony. Because, while those encounters make life worth living, I could do without the longing, without the wake. Maybe one day there will be someone who will stay around for more than one lesson — maybe even a lifelong lesson. Or maybe he will come back for another round, another time. From now on, I vow to take my sweet time learning these life lessons. Not too long, of course, but long enough to sink my teeth in to whatever transient bliss comes my way.

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2 Responses to “Transient Bliss”

  1. 1 amarie08

    I absolutely know what you are talking about. I am going through some rough times with my boyfriend of two years and it just seems like sometimes its not meant to be and that he is just another ‘lesson’. So that is an awesome way to put it.


  1. 1 Trying Not to Lose Faith In Men: Part I « Queen Samantha’s Weblog

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