Bad Boys: My Friday Lesson in Life

09Feb08

Here is what I learned tonight:

1) Do not keep anyone in your life that does not make your life better (save for family and family-like figures, but sometimes even those). Life is too short to deal with unnecessary heartache. Loved ones may die, you may be the victim of some crime or calamity, your health may fade, friends may betray you … life is full of shitty things that we have no choice but to deal with. Why inflict pain and stress on ourselves when we do have a choice?

2) Words do not a commitment make. I’m not talking wedding rings or even monogamy here. I’m talking about the commitment of even an ounce … just an ounce … of emotional capital. I remember my mother recounting her pre-divorce arguments with my father — “Don’t love me so damn much; just treat me better!” There comes a point where the proof is either in the pudding or it’s not. If it’s not, time to move on to bachelor (or bachelorette) number two. Don’t bother looking back — it’s not worth it.

3) There’s no need for bad sex. Unfortunately, it has been my experience that in order to have good sex, I actually have to care about my partner. For me, it’s the passion and emotional intimacy that enables the physical communication necessary for mind blowing sex. In addition, impersonal roundeavous are quite the hassle. I can have better sex at home, by myself, without having to worry about STDs or whether the stranger in my bed has any sadistic or homicidal tendencies. Even absent the aforementioned concerns, bad sex is just depressing. There is no need.

4) That being said, great sex is no excuse for emotional masochism. There will always be another guy (or girl) to come along and rock your world. Referring to lesson #1, above, unless the quality and/or frequency of the sex increases the net value that a person adds to your life, it’s not worth it to maintain the relationship in the absence of other compelling factors.

5) Blogging is a wonderful coping mechanism.

6) Life always seems more manageable after a good night’s sleep.

Time for bed.

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3 Responses to “Bad Boys: My Friday Lesson in Life”

  1. 1 hopaboat

    straight up.

  2. 1) Right on Sam, I wholeheartedly agree. Life is too short to be weighed down by jokers who do not contribute to the relationship. I have had to cut a few over the years with no regrets.

    2) I am a stickler for detail, time, and follow through. If you don’t plan on doing it, do not commit. That is not a difficult concept.

    5) I was a bit downtrodden before I started my blog in December, now I do not have that problem. It helps when you know you are inter-connected with other cats with similar hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Yours is well executed and informative.


  1. 1 Trying Not to Lose Faith In Men: Part I « Queen Samantha’s Weblog

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