Bong Hits For Jesus. No, Seriously.

05Mar08

I have previously alluded to my distaste for organized religion. While I consider myself Jewish, to me it is a cultural rather than a religious identity. I distinctly remember sitting in Hebrew school thinking, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. A burning bush?” Proud to be a Hebrew school dropout, I still think that the Bible, insofar as it attempts to explain the divine, is a load of crap. I have always revered it as a historical text, but when it comes down to the unanswerable questions, well … I believe that they are unanswerable. I also believe that if there were answers, they would be universal. I can’t conceive of there being different master plans applicable to different people, depending on religious affiliation. It’s all very sketchy and what bothers me most — aside from the fact that people murder in the name of it — is that it all tends to be based on really, really old texts of unknown authorship and origin. Unless you’re Mormon.

Anyway, I thereby come to Agnosticism through simple deduction. It goes something like this: I can not believe that the universe was created a hundred different ways for a hundred different purposes. I can not believe that votaries of different faiths will go to different places after death. I don’t believe that there can be one god, but also many different gods. I can’t believe that any religion can lay claim to truth over another. I don’t believe that humans knew any more than we know now simply because they were alive thousands of years ago and scribbled their thoughts down on parchment. Or papyrus. Or whatever they used. Thanks to Benny Shanon, I now also believe that descriptions of the supernatural — be they in the Bible, the Koran, the Vedas, the verbal, late-night musings of my favorite drug abusers, or WHEREVER — are likely products of psychoactive drug use. I’m not saying that I am not spiritual. I am a very, very spiritual Agnostic. I will send my children for religious schooling, celebrate religious holidays, and attend religious services, so that my family and I will have a shared sense of culture and identity. But enough with the burning bushes.

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